But…fear not…I have not totally forsaken my little online home and hope to be making more regular posts in the near future…I can see the end of the chaotic tunnel!  I think I just about have hubby trained as my housework sidekick and I feel a rhythm coming on!  All it takes is a little more effort in the planning department and I should be back in the saddle again (Aerosmith anyone??).

I really appreciate those of you who have continued to hold out hope that I’d be back, and I love the fact that you are faithful enough to even be here reading this lame apology!  I look forward to connecting again!

This tree is huge…it has a big trunk, a big system of roots, big branches and it covers a big section of my backyard.  But you know what else it is?  It’s beautiful.  It has beautiful, green leaves and it provides wonderful shade in the heat of the summer.  It is the picture of strength and confidence.  No little wind is going to knock down this tree – it is going to stand strong. And even though it might lose some of its leaves during a rough storm and its branches might bend, it will come out on the other side still green and beautiful.

Now, this little tree on the other hand is…well, little.  It doesn’t have many leaves so it’s pretty dull, and it’s already leaning over like it can’t support the weight of its own branches.  There have been many times that I’ve had to go out and gather fallen branches after a storm, as this little tree just doesn’t have the strength to survive strong winds. There’s nothing wrong with the tree, and it’s not an inferior tree simply because it’s smaller, but it doesn’t inspire a sense of beauty or radiance or strength as the huge tree does.  Someone could walk right by this tree and not really notice it there – it just kinda blends into its surroundings.

When both the little tree (on the left) and the big tree (on the right) are compared side by side the beauty and vibrance of the big tree is obvious.  Its colors are richer and healthier and it provides an inviting canopy, which screams out shade and relaxing peace.  You’d be hard pressed to find someone who would choose to hang out under the little tree rather than the big tree, and I think most people would right away point out how beautiful the big tree is.

Big Can Be Beautiful

I’m sure you know where I’m going with this, but I’m going to spell it out anyway…big can be beautiful.  Whether we are talking about trees or our bodies, big can be beautiful.  It makes me so sad to think of all of the time I’ve wasted in life staying isolated and alone because I was so ashamed of how “big” I was.  I can think of a slew of bigger women I’ve known, either personally or in the media, who could outshine anyone!  Their confidence and personality is what draws people to them, not the size or shape of their body.  Some people are naturally beanpoles and some people are naturally larger.  That doesn’t mean that one is better than the other or that either one should be ashamed.  It’s the inner sparkle and energy and vibrance that people notice.

I’m not naive – I know that our society favors skinny people.  It’s all over magazine covers, billboards, and Victoria Secret store windows (seriously, some of those are just obscene and inappropriate for the mall!).  Thin is definitely in, so it’s very hard to feel good about yourself if you feel like you’re not in the norm.  It’s hard to not walk around town and wish that you looked like the skinny marathon runner that just blew past you on the sidewalk, or the tiny teenager who’s wearing the halter top and mini skirt and pulling it off beautifully.

Understand that I’m not saying that it’s ok to be obese and unhealthy – health is vital to life and should be paid attention to.  If losing weight is necessary for your health then you need to make an effort to get to a healthy and comfortable size.  What I’m saying is – don’t ever be ashamed of or try to hide who you are on the inside.  Be confident about what you can offer the world and find a way to be at peace and happy with your inner self.  Not everyone was born to be a skinny stick and if everyone in the world was the same skinny stick it would be a boring, one-dimensional world.  Sense of humor, kindness, empathy, a nurturing spirit, artistic ability, a beautiful voice, confidence – those are the parts of you that are important and that people want to experience.

Remember the beauty that’s so apparent in the big tree?  Let that beauty also be apparent in you and in your life – the physical will fall in line naturally.

Let the natural, beautiful you shine!

Here is their first update from the Shenandoah River State Park in Virginia:

An Owl Adventure!

We took off on what we thought would be an uneventful 1 mile hike on the Bluebell Trail in the Shenandoah River State Park. The trail was wet because it had just rained and we were busy dodging mud puddles when my husband stopped suddenly and pointed up to a tree nearby. Wow! There sat a small brown screech owl eyeing us very closely.

We were both carrying our cameras so we started snapping pictures as quick as we could. We were probably 6 feet away from the owl and could see her very clearly. After taking several pictures, my husband mentioned that he sure would like to take some photos with his telephoto lens so I volunteered to go back to the care get it for him while he stayed with the owl.

Thankfully the parking lot wasn’t very far from where we were, so  I grabbed the camera bag containing his lens and ran back to the trail fearful that the owl would be gone by the time I got back.  I found my husband standing in the same spot swatting at the mosquitoes that were eating him alive and viciously scratching the bites he had acquired in the short time I’d been gone. He was afraid to make any noise or to move too much lest he scare the owl.

While I pulled his lens from the camera bag, he was pointing at another tree limb to show me that there was another owl.  It was a baby!  How exciting! We had found a mama and her baby. We have never seen a live owl in the wild so this was a big moment for us.  We stood there for as long as we dared, taking many pictures of both of them. The mama was definitely watching every move we made and I believe that if we had made any move toward the baby, she would have come after us.

I was in awe of that owl just sitting in the tree, so silent and only moving her head to watch our every move.  The first thing I noticed about her when my husband pointed her out was her eyes quickly blinking.  If not for that, I might not have seen her. It is amazing how they blend in to their surroundings.  The baby appeared to be sleeping as it clung to that little tree branch with its claws.

I’d have to say, that was definitely our salient moment for the day.

Yeah, it sounded weird to me too but I decided to go for it and see what happened.  It was a delicious miracle!  The chicken turned out so tender and juicy and the flavor was a-MAH-zing!  Hubby now requests this chicken at least twice a week…every week!

Creamy Marinated Grilled Chicken

Ingredients:

• 1 pound chicken (can be tenders, breasts, thighs or strips)
• 1/2 cup heavy or whipping cream
• 3 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 tbsp thyme (I used dry so use more than just one 1 tbsp if you use fresh)
• 1 tbsp dijon mustard
• Celtic sea salt and black pepper

Directions:

• If you’re using strips or tenders then just throw the already cut pieces in a big ziploc bag – cut breasts and thighs into thinner, smaller pieces so they can soak up the marinade
• In a small bowl mix together the cream, lemon juice, thyme, dijon mustard, sea salt and black pepper
• Pour the marinade over the chicken in the ziploc and let it marinade for at least 20 minutes – make sure you really squeeze the bag all around so all of the chicken gets to bathe in the yumminess
• Once your grill is heated, place the chicken on the racks straight from the marinade bag – the excess marinade will drip off and the rest will cook right into the chicken
• Once it’s cooked through and juices are running clear, bump your chest a few times and declare yourself the master of grilled chicken!!

Creamy Marinated Grilled Chicken

Click here for another chicken adventure!

You know how you could’ve avoided this?  Talking.  Yep, just talking.  Know how you can fix it if the above describes your relationship?  Again, talking.  I can tell you from personal experience that talking can both prevent and fix a seemingly dead and depressing relationship.  Talking can re-kindle the connection, the romance and the passion.  Talking can make you remember why you got together in the first place and allow you to see a happy future once again.  Talking can make you feel more intimate and emotionally closer to each other.  Talking can force you to take time out of every day to really focus on your partner, making both of you feel important and valued.  Now granted, talking won’t solve every or all problems – there are going to be other things that go along with talking to make a relationship truly whole.  But talking is the biggest, most important step you can take to both repair a relationship that’s falling apart and to prevent a relationship from falling apart in the first place.

I found an article that I had published back in 2011 that talks about the important of marital communication so I’m gonna post it as a conclusion to this post.  This article wasn’t just research for me, I truly believe what it says.

Marital Communication

Where would a marriage be without communication?  In the toilet, nonexistent, in divorce court, in turmoil – that’s where a marriage ends up without communication.  If trying to narrow down one of the most important aspects of maintaining a successful relationship, communication is right there at the top.   Too many times, when a couple is asked why their marriage ended in divorce the answer is “we stopped communicating”.  A successful relationship puts an effort into making sure that communication stays open, includes mutual respect, and maintains a connection between both partners.

Talking: Not Just Words

Contrary to popular belief, communication in a relationship is not just the words that come out of each partner’s mouth.  It also includes the tone of the voice and body language.  Now, words are very important, do not misunderstand, but they are not the be all and end all of marital communication.  One person can be communicating in a very calm tone of voice, but if the other person is rolling his/her eyes or making “uh huh” sounds while watching TV, this will not be effective communication.  The person talking will assume from the body language and lack of attention that what they’re saying is not important and will most likely stop talking.

According to Terry Northcutt, Director of Marriage Enrichment Programs at Family Dynamics Institute, “Most couples engage in meaningful conversation less than 15 minutes per week”.  That is not much time to connect through communication with your spouse.  He suggests that an effective way to overcome this obstacle of finding time to connect and have meaningful communication with each other is to learn to incorporate it into other tasks.  For example, talk while taking a walk, or while grocery shopping, while riding in the car, or even during television commercials (Northcutt, 2011).  It is still important to make time just for the purpose of communicating, but finding ways to incorporate it into everyday tasks will lessen the chances of complete non-communication.

Talking: Requires Respect

Communication in a marriage should also include mutual respect.  There are going to be times when one or both partners are furious and not in a respectful mood; this might be a good time to go cool off and resume that particular conversation later.  However, as a general principle, marital communication that is based on a mutual respect for each other will happen naturally and be ultra-productive.  It is hard to want to communicate with someone that is constantly being critical, or constantly speaking in an intimidating manner.  Northcutt points out in his article that good marital communication avoids disrespect.

Talking: Needs Attention

One last major defense against a non-communicative marriage is undivided attention.  Reading email, watching television, or texting another person is not showing respect to the person trying to engage in a conversation.  Each partner deserves to feel important and providing undivided attention when the other person is talking is an effective, yet simple, way of making that person feel validated.  This could be as little as five minutes on the couch each night, conversing with no distractions, or it could be a weekly date at a restaurant, all attention focused on a mutual conversation.  No matter the location, time of day, or length of conversation, enhance marital communication with direct eye contact and undivided attention.

Resource: Northcutt, Terry (2011). Marriage Communication – Family Dynamics Institute.  Retrieved on August 9, 2011 from http://www.familydynamics.net/Communication.htm.

Article originally published at: http://www.myturn.com/MyLoveLife/ID/479/Marital-Communication.aspx

“I know this is dumb, but I…blah blah”  then I said  “I know this is lame but I feel like…” then I told him “this is really weird but I want to…”.  Finally he interrupted me with “why do you think everything you think, do or want is dumb, lame or weird??”  Huh.  I was speechless for a minute because I hadn’t realized that all of those insecure thoughts in my head were coming out in my conversation.  I was actually a little ashamed to realize that I was criticizing the part of my personality that essentially makes me who I am…the weird and quirky, yet fun and loveable side of me.  I was labeling my unique and oddball ways as “lame” or “dumb” because I was afraid that’s how others would view them.

My Weirdness

In case you’re wondering what kind of quirky or oddball things I might be tempted to hide:

* When I’m alone in the care I love playing drums on the steering wheel and belting out the song like I’m in concert

* When I’m cooking, I love to play loud music and dance around with my apron on and my spatula in my hand – feel the beat!

* I try to avoid the number 3 as much as possible…can’t explain it, just don’t like that number

* I really do treat my dogs like they’re my kids – they have a stroller for long walks, they only get filtered water & they only eat grain-free organic food

* If I could go the rest of my life not wearing shoes I would…instead I live in flip flops, even through the winter

* I have to wear my watch really loose on my wrist because if it’s too tight I feel claustraphobic and can’t breathe

* I am addicted to the TV show Friends and I own all 10 seasons on DVD – which I watch all the time.  I’ll probably wear out the discs

* I love paint by numbers!  I find it relaxing and when I have a finished painting I feel so accomplished!

I don’t want you to get completely bored so I’m sure that’s enough and you get the picture.  I feel like that’s my weird side.  I’m pretty sure someone would regard me as really weird if they found out during our first meeting that I don’t like the number 3 and my dogs ride in a stroller.  That’s like “cross the street the weird lady is coming” material!

But what I’ve come to realize is that that’s ok.  If dancing around my house singing into a spatula makes me happy then that’s what makes me happy and what others might think has no bearing at all.  If treating my dogs like my kids because I’m unable to have real little humans gives me a sense of fulfillment, then call me the crazy dog lady but that’s ok!  My weird side is part of who I am and as soon as I learn to embrace it I will start to feel more at peace with myself and will be able to be more happy with myself overall.

EVERYONE has a weird side, I guarantee it.

And you know why?  Because there is no definitive meaning to the word “weird”.  It is completely subjective.  What I think is weird is different than what my hubby thinks is weird which is different than what our friends think is weird.  Some people think it’s weird that I write a blog, but to others it’s a legitimate way of life and a career.  Others might think it’s weird to want to go to an office every day for work, but to the masses that’s just normal.  I think it’s really werid that we have to wear shoes everywhere, but that’s just pretty much a societal norm.  So one of the best things about weirdness is that it’s everywhere, in everyone!

Now when I’m tempted to label myself as “weird” or “odd” I just remember that…every single person is weird in their own way.  That’s what makes the world such a unique, fun experience – we have to learn to appreciate ourselves and everyone else around us for their weirdness.  We’ll be happier with ourselves and also make some reall cool friends in the process.  Never be afraid to embrace your weirdness and come out of your shell…it’s hard the first time, like trying to work up the nerve to take that first ride on a big roller coaster.  But the first time you really let yourself be who you are around others you’ll find that it’s such a freeing, rewarding feeling you’ll never hide your weird side again!

Embrace the Weirdness!!

Women self-care: Positive Thinking

The Mayo Clinic recently published an article outlining how helpful positive thinking can be in terms of reducing stress and improving  health. Central here is the importance of positive self-talk, which is  defined as the endless thoughts that run through a person’s head on a  daily basis. If the majority of these thoughts are positive, then that  person is more likely to engage in optimistic thought patterns,  therefore reducing their stress and anxiety. The benefits of practicing  positive thinking range from lessened chances of cardiovascular issues,  to lower levels of depression and a greater immunity to common  sicknesses. Positive thinking does not require a great amount of time  but does produce great health benefits (Mayo Clinic, 2011).

Women self-care: Impact of Neglect

An important fact that many busy women fail to acknowledge is the  negative impact on those around them when they are unhappy and burned  out. A mother who neglects herself to the point of depression and  unhappiness has a harder time caring for her family. A woman who  constantly works for others without taking time out to care for herself  is not only hurting her body and mind but also limiting the amount of  good she is capable of doing for others.
A study was conducted that looked at caregivers of a spouse between the  ages of 66 and 96. The study found that those who were experiencing  mental or emotional strain were 63 percent more likely to die than those  of the same age who didn’t have caregiving responsibilities (Schultz  & Beach, 1999). Being mindful of one’s own well-being is a catalyst  for optimal health, both inside and out.

Ways to Care for Yourself

There are many types of self-care options available for women:

• manicures and pedicures
• massages
• baths with music and/or candles
• meditation
• women’s social groups or Bible studies
• exercise: group classes or individual activities
• reading a novel

Remember Women:

Along with self-care indulgences, optimal health comes from regular, healthy life choices. Be sure to create time for a healthy diet,  adequate exercise and plenty of sleep. Making these a part of a daily  routine will optimize health and help decrease overwhelming stress.

References: Mayo Clinic. 2011. Positive Thinking: Reduce Stress by Eliminating  Negative Self-Talk. Retrieved on July 31, 2011, from  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/positive-thinking/SR00009.

Shultz, Richard and Beach, Scott. 1999 (December 15). Caregiving as a  Risk for Mortality: The Caregiver Health Effects Study. “JAMA,” 282, 23.

Article originally published at http://www.mamajamba.com/Me/ID/470/Importance-of-Womens-Self-Care.aspx

Positive Thinking is NOT Automatic

Positive thinking is not something that comes automatically but rather requires time and practice. You wouldn’t go out and run a 5K without ever having run before, or open your mouth expecting to hear a foreign language without ever learning one. Of course not. You’d spend time studying, practicing and building up endurance. The same is true of positive thinking. Sitting in the midst of a crisis with a blank smile on your face, repeating “It’s going to be fine,” is not positive thinking–that’s unrealistic. Ignoring difficulties or issues that arise, believing that they will magically disappear, is not practical thinking–that’s denial.

Positive thinking means bringing into your mind thoughts of success and growth: a mental process that expects good results. It means walking into any situation expecting that the outcome is going to further your levels of happiness, joy and mental and emotional health. It’s amazing the power that the mind has over the body. Positive thinking has the ability to transform a negative situation into a positive one—for you and for those around you.

Positive people continually expect the best in a situation and believe that circumstances and people can change, but they don’t sit back expecting it to happen miraculously. They take that positive energy and use it to search for solutions and opportunities to improve their situations. They refuse to blame others for their problems and take responsibility for their own happiness and satisfaction. Positive thinking involves realizing that nothing productive comes from dwelling on the negative aspects of a situation. Worrying about something will not change the circumstance or the outcome; you must take control of your own thoughts and behaviors.

Positive Thinking Does NOT Mean Ignore Other Emotions

Barbara Fredrickson, PhD, points out in her book “Positivity” how she realized that positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring the negative and sad emotions during a trying time. Everyone is going to feel sad or worrisome when going through a traumatic event such as an illness, divorce, death and so on.  However, positive thinking allows you to see both sides of the situation without the sad emotions taking over.  It allows you to see the positive things that happen during the trying times and focus on them for positive strength. Positive thinking is not explained by superficial mantras like “Grin and bear it” or “Don’t worry, be happy,” but instead pushes you to experience deeper emotions like joy, love, hope and gratitude (Fredrickson 2009). It is impossible to consistently control external situations, but you can control how you allow them to affect you internally and emotionally.

Positive Thinking IS up to You

I have no idea who originally said this, but I captured a great quote from someone on social media the other day:

Article “Hidden Strengths of Positive Thinking” originally posted on DoOver.com – http://www.doover.com/MovingOn/ID/343/The-Hidden-Strength-of-Positive-Thinking.aspx

So I was happy to show her the best way to cook the broccoli and personally the below is my favorite preparation…the hubby and I can each eat a broccoli crown ourselves!

Lemon Butter Broccoli

Ingredients:

• 1 large head of fresh broccoli, cut into little florets
• 1 tbsp butter
• 1 tbsp lemon
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1/4 cup chicken broth
• Celtic Sea Salt and black pepper

Directions:

• Sautee the broccoli florets and the olive oil in a pan until the broccoli turns bright green
• Add the chicken stock, cover the pan and let it simmer on medium-low for about 5 minutes (this leaves the broccoli a touch crunchy which I like – for soft broccoli let it simmer a bit longer)
• Remove the broccoli from the heat and add the butter and the lemon juice
• Toss the broccoli until it’s all covered with the butter and lemon juice then sprinkle with salt and pepper and give it one more toss
• Enjoy the delicious crunch of broccoli with a tad of tartness from the lemon & the richness from the butter – your family will love vegetables!

Lemon Butter Broccoli

I don’t know about you, but that is not the world I want to live in.  I want a world for my family where we can still experience all four seasons of the year – where we can watch flowers bloom in the spring, and see trees turn red, yellow and orange in the fall.  I want to be able to go sledding in feet of snow in the winter and still enjoy a cool breeze off the ocean in the summer.  I want to feel like I am making a daily effort to increase the quality of our earth and skies on a daily basis, even if it’s as simple as using recyclable bags at the grocery store or recycling all of my plastic bottles.  I want to grow my own garden of food with organic soil that doesn’t contain earth-killing pesticides, and plant trees that will provide oxygen and natural shade for my house.  If every person made one tiny effort every day…that’s a lot of tiny efforts that actually become one HUGE effort to help save our earth.

Try to think of at least one thing that you can commit to today for Earth Day – only use paper or reusable grocery bags, walk more instead of driving, plant a tree, recycle every week, etc.  Even one thing will make a difference and will make you feel good to know you’re joining in the effort to preserve our planet for generations to come!

Here are some photos of the earth from my point of view that remind me of its beauty:

Celebrate Earth Day – Bee enjoying pollen!

Celebrate Earth Day –  Nashville Butterfly

Celebrate Earth Day -  Cape Cod, MA

Celebrate Earth Day – Estes Park, CO

Celebrate Earth Day – Flower Field in Germany

Celebrate Earth Day – Waikoloa, Hawaii

Celebrate Earth Day – Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Celebrate Earth Day – Mexico

Celebrate Earth Day – Prague

Celebrate Flowers on Earth Day!

Celebrate Earth Day – Smoky Mountains, Tennessee

Celebrate Earth Day – Smugglers Notch, Vermont